Changing

I am on one last horse show adventure for the year. I committed to one last Arabian national show. One last time organizing prizes, typing scripts until midnight, and chasing volunteer horses down at 11:00 pm the night before a youth judging contest.

As I sit in my hotel room, I can't help but think as I rub my tired feet and stretch my aching back, I sure am NOT going to miss these long nights.

Then as I quietly brush my teeth, I think to myself, It sure has been fun seeing some of my friends and volunteers again one last time. 

I think I am really going to miss buzzing around on golf carts, stopping to casually talk horses along the way. 
Calling that my job.

Dang it was cold today. 
I love the way the barns smell in fall when the weather is crisp. 

Gosh, the ladies were sure funny tonight. 
I'm going to miss our late night dinners and conversations.  
I think I am going to miss this... deep down... I can't believe so much is changing in my life right now.

I crank up the heat in my hotel room before settling into my covers - traveling for a horse show is the only time I can turn up the thermostat and live like a lizard, warm and cozy. As I wrap up my thoughts for the day, I take one last peek at Facebook and then one last look at the picture Grandma sent me of Mr Blue Eyes.

Grandma is watching our Brown Eyed Girl and Mr Blue Eyes while I am in Tulsa and Handy Man is in Minnesota - his hunting trip cut short due to the passing of his grandmother, Betty Lou on Tuesday. An unfortunate blessing.

Grandma took the cutest picture of Mr Blue Eyes. As I look at the picture again tonight before I close my eyes, I can't help but know and love the familiarity of his beautiful smile instantly. And yet, I can't help but feel unaccustomed to this tiny little face staring back at me, captured in a photograph.

I can't believe how much he is changing.

I stare into these eyes and kiss these little cheeks every day; however, I feel like time is slipping away. When did this little blue eyed boy change from being a baby into a budding toddler?

I am baffled at the evident changes in his face.

I can't wait to get home and kiss his cheeks, squeeze him tight and become a more cautious witness to my life changing before me.
 

Let It Snow

For old time sake, our little house on the prairie felt that we needed just one more winter storm before this show is over. One last time to bring in the horses, carry water buckets, listen to the wind howl as the snow flakes beat against the windows with force. One last night to sit at the edge of my bed watching the news as the lights flicker overhead.

Loss of power means more than just the lights going out and the inconvenience of no entertainment. Loss of power means no heat as the wind cools and envelops this little house on the prairie. Loss of power means no water either. The well pump can't work - no flushing, no showering...

In ritual, i gather my necessities. Check the batteries in a the flash lights. Position candles and lighters. And say one last prayer for the storm to be merciful and let the power stay on before retiring deep under my covers.

Oh My Deer

It seems like everywhere I turn, I am surrounded by... DEER. 

This year's babies are big enough, old enough, and brave enough to venture out daily. Side by side they scour for food with their momma's preparing for winter. Small herds of momma and baby deer line our drive in to town each morning. 

The kids and I are starting to see several big and bold bucks wandering about. 

Just the other day we saw a pair of strong, young bucks dukeing it out over three pretty does. Is it doe plural or does? Cause that looks like the word does as in, "Does she look pretty?" I am confused... For this specific purpose, does means more than one female deer. 

Maybe it is just doe... Deer is both singular and plural. 

Why does the English language have to be so difficult? 

I have digressed...

Right there along side of the road these two bucks were vying for the ladies. Paying no regard for the road and early morning commuters. It was quite the sight watching them lock antlers. Obviously I was rubber necking... 

We see several big bucks that have already staked their claims with a small herds of ladies - I think I'm going to stick with ladies. Watching vigilantly as their prospects graze.

We are also on week two of Bambi in the car. My Brown Eyed Girl has a new favorite movie. She has begun reciting the movie word for word. I beg her daily for a new selection with no such luck in sight.

 

And lastly, Handy Man left yesterday for Utah. He won an out of state deer tag this year. It's kind of like winning the lottery for guys - except you don't win money in hunting. You spend money. You spend ridiculously more money to travel to another state to hunt the exact same kind of animal that we pass every day on our way to work/daycare/the grocery store. 

Handy Man assures me that these deer are different. They are "trophy" deer. 

I am still a bit confused. 

It's still a deer - right?!?

What makes them that much better/bigger/cooler in Utah?

And I know when he gets back this weekend... he will be making a trip to the taxidermist.With his "trophy"deer he could only get in Utah.

What ever you say Dear.

Did I mention We might need to buy more hay for next spring?

Slumber Party

What happens when two little kids wake up (on a weekday) at 5am?

Mommy has to get everybody situated with Mickey as the babysitter and then go jump in the shower. 

And what happens when earlier risers are left alone for 15-20 minutes?

Messes. 

My Brown Eyed Girl drags about every blanket she can find out into the family room to makes a "Princess Bed."

My first guess of course.

 

Mr Blue Eyes realizes he is not quite big enough or tough enough for early morning shenanigans. 

Had To Have It

Saw it.

Had to have it.

Bought it.

It will make Rah-Rah want one.

She will buy one tomorrow.

Magpie

Driving into town yesterday, my Brown Eyed Girl was chatting away in the back seat - like every day... like every moment her eyes are open. We were spotting pretty trees. Looking for deer, especially baby deer. Finding deer is pretty easy these days. This year's babies have started venturing out with their momma's, searching for food. Not to mention, the rut is building.

As I was thinking about something else, my Brown Eyed Girl exclaimed from the back seat, "Mommy, look at that birdie! It has beautiful white on his feathers!"

I agreed with her and said, "That's a Magpie."

"No. Mommy, that's a Pecker."

Exhaling a whisper of a giggle, "Actually honey, it's called a Magpie."

"Mom! He's a Pecker!"

"Okay honey."

Sometimes you have to pick your battles. It's probably not the best technicality to make a big deal about.

About thirty seconds later...

"Mom! Look at all those Peckers!"

Im going to need to nip this one in the bud before day care/preschool next week...

Snuggle Bunnie

There is nothing quite like seeing your kids snuggling together on a Saturday morning. Sharing a chair. Splitting a Pop-Tart. Sipping milk from their sippy cups while watching cartoons. 

My Brown Eyed Girl letting Mr Blue Eyes rest his head upon her shoulder. 

Warms my heart.

I am not quite sure what could make this moment sweeter.

 

Well, maybe if these pictures weren't taken at 5:00 am on a Saturday morning... 

Bob The Builder

Mr Blue Eyes has a new favorite toy - aside from pushing a baby stroller and wearing Sissy's tu-tu's while "singing" and twirling. He is obsessed with building blocks.

The other day while Sissy was napping, Mr Blue Eyes built his first ever tower. This was only accomplished because Sissy was sleeping. 

My Brown Eyed Girl... 

a) doesn't always like to share her blocks - they in fact are technically hers I guess. 

b) if she does share, Mr Blue Eyes is restricted to a 3 block limit. 

c) lastly, she loves to demolish anything he is building...and then there are tears....

Basically, she is a bratty big sister. 

My Brown Eyed Girl had started this tower by building the base before she went down for a nap. Mr Blue Eyes just took it from there.

I was just amazed watching his level of concentration. 

I can't get over how big he is getting.

Needless to day, he almost made the tower as tall as he is. 

Handy Man was proud.

Old Yeller

This handsome, old man had a big date yesterday.

A date with the vet...

Of course Boji's favorite day of the year.

It doesn't really hit him that he is at the vet's office until we walk into our own little room and they close the door behind us. Prior to that he is a maniac sniffer on sensory overload. He becomes hard of hearing, and his nose never rises more that 3 inches from the floor. Tail wagging a mile a minute.

As soon as that door shuts and I know he knows where he is, he looks up at me in a disapproving fashion, pins his ears back and promptly heads right for the closed door and does his best to put on his please-let-me-out-I-really-have-to-go-potty face.

I can't help but feel a little guilty.

While we wait for the vet, you can either talk to your dog - which I think is perfectly normal at home. However, for some reason in public, especially in a closed room, makes you sound like a crazy _____ (insert choice animal.) It's either that, or silently ask yourself a laundry list of questions.

Why does my dog suddenly shed so bad as soon as we get to the vet?

Cat Fancy. American Sporting Dog. Why do doctor's office's always have the lamest list of magazines?

I wonder if people steel all the good magazines while they wait?

Boji is obsessively sniffing every inch of the room.


Ahhh man, Boji is getting hair everywhere. I wonder what a pain in the butt it is to clean a vet's office every night?

I wonder if they hire a cleaning crew?

I wonder if they use bleach every night?

I wonder how much this is going to cost today?

Why are you shedding so much?

The vet tech enters and we exchange casual greetings, Boji slinks back over by the door, ears pinned again. My overly happy-to-meet-you dog is silently screaming, "Get me out of here!"

In the last couple years, the old Boji man has gotten a little snippy in his old age. Given his current, pleasant attitude, I felt it was proper to inform the poor vet tech that the old grumpy man snapped at the vet tech two years ago when she tried to worm him. Given how happy he appeared, I just wanted to put that disclaimer out there. After some bribing with cookies coaxing, Boji let the vet tech complete a preliminary examination, including a temperature check. I got to supervise the danger zone. I gave him that silent look that said, "You bite me bucko and you'll wish you weren't shedding like a maniac right now when you're sleeping outside for the rest of your life."

He was shedding a LOT.

Some people sweat when they are nervous - Boji sheds.

The Doc came in and we hoisted Boji up on the counter. I mentioned I noticed that the ol' boy has been slinking on and off the couch these days - rather then jumping up and down with ease. I also noticed that his unending will to play fetch has been roped in and after 3-4 throws, he calls a little 'time out' to catch his breath.

The Doc checked his range of motion in his shoulders and hips and saw there was definitely a difference in his range of motion in his left back knee. A little inflammation. A little loss of muscle tone.

Diagnosis... early onset of arthritis.

The poor old man.

I told the vet we were planning a hunting trip in November with Boji. He said he should have no problem hunting. We have to keep him on some anti-inflammatory drugs and he should be just fine.

Did ya hear that Boji? You and Daddy can still hunt!

He got a quick shot.

And juuuuuuuust as the vet was about to wrap it up, he was reminded of Boji's age. There was one more test older, in-tact males had to succumb to... 

Nothing says old fart like the old prostate exam!

I'm really sorry buddy...
An extra doggie treat for you tonight!

While Boji and the Doc were getting "more acquainted" I saw a poster that said Boji's age in people years was like 61. Over the next 3 years he will actually age about 27 years in equivalent. That's like 88.

As I studdied that chart, I couldn't help but feel like time was running out. Three years is nothing. My Brown Eyed Girl is already three - almost four. And that time slipped right past me while I was sleeping.

When asked if I had any other questions... I honestly and humbly asked, "How much time do you think we have left?" And then I began rambling something about... I know anything could happen at any time... given his health today... with the exception of something major... I know you don't have a crystal ball... I know I sound like the crazy ____ lady for sure now.... but how much longer is average?

The Doc smiled slightly and said, "It's hard to tell for sure. The fit, athletic ones - if they can avoid cancer and such - can make it to 13 or 14. He's in great shape. As long as you keep doing what you're doing... I don't see why the beautiful guy can't make it to 14."

"Thanks Doc. Cause we aren't ready to loose him quite yet."

We said our good byes and I hurried out the door as fast as I could.

Once in the car (and out of ear shot) I told Boji I was sorry I got mushy and I embarrassed him, sorry he got 'explored' today and sorry he got a shot.

Five minutes down the road he saw some deer he wanted to chase and all was forgotten. 


I can't help but love your guts Boji!

  

My Heart

I have horses racing through my veins.

I love my children with all of my heart.

When I capture a moment like this...

...there are not enough words in my soul to to describe how I feel. 

My Brown Eyed girl shadows my childhood. Bouncing my model horses and dreaming of the days she gets to ride a real horse.

As I watch her race to the barn or pasture, lean against the fence and extend her hand for just one touch, I can't help but feel joy all around me. And I am thankful. Thankful that I can share horses with my daughter.

I know that for me, I breathe in the air, watch the sunlight filter through the clouds and savor the time spent with my horses. My shoulders relax. I pull my ball cap down and the rest of the real world slips away.


I think of the people, mostly women, I’ve met because of horses. I consider how competent they all are. Articulate. Strong. Confident.

Horses introduce us to experiences we might otherwise have missed. I have considered this as I've shoveled manure, washed tails, filled water tanks in the blistering winter wind, waited for the vet/farrier/hay delivery guy, helped deliver foals, walked a colic stricken horse in the middle of the night.

Physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually, horses make women (and men) riders, horsemen and good human beings.

Horses teach children to be thoughtful and gentile, compassionate and empathetic. Children learn to be patient. They also learn courage and determination. Responsibility, respect, compassion, empathy, honesty and integrity, commitment - what parent wouldn't want their child to have these values?

 

 “My treasures do not chink or glitter, they gleam in the sun and neigh in the night.”