My Brown Eyed Girl suffered from FOMO (Failure of missing out) for so long that I have to admit she was still having daytime accidents up until the end of last summer. Nights were not an issue. But God forbid she take three minutes away from her play date to run to the toilet and pee. Nahhh, she would rather just discretely wet her self, just enough to take the edge off her full bladder, so she wouldn't have to miss a moment of fun. I would notice that she smelled like urine later in the day (after all was dry) and want to ring her neck. Sometimes her self control was limited and she'd have a big, and very noticeable, accident. Of course that still didn't stop her from carrying on. She'd be running and playing, swinging on the monkey bars, wet pants galore.
It was very frustrating. Often very publicly embarrassing - for me... she never seemed to care.
We tried everything. Bribing her with a treat, a new bike, anything she wanted so long as she stops peeing in her underwear! She was five after all. Headed for Kindergarten. Kindergarten and surrounded by elementary kids that are mean and tease kids that have accidents. They nick-name them awful things. Nick-names that often stick with them for years. I was internally panicking for my child.
And finally, finally it all just stopped. I am not sure what did the trick. But it stopped and I was relieved.
Our Mr Blue Eyes on the other hand was cake to day train. At 2, he wanted to go to school so bad and be just like Sis. I knew we were getting close to starting him at potty training so I told him that he had to wear big boy underwear in order to go to school. About a week later he refused to wear a diaper and with the exception of maybe... maybe three accidents, he has been wearing those "Spiderman underwears" every day since.
He has always been that kind of a kid. He sets his mind to something and BAM, he is doing it.
In fact, about a week after wearing underwear, Mr Blue Eyes tried to stay the day in Sis's class one morning. When I told him it was time for us to go after visiting with my Brown Eyed Girls teacher, he matter-of-factly looked up at me and said, "No Mom. I go potty now in the potty. I go to school." It was quite the scene that morning. He was kicking and screaming at the top of his lungs, "I GO POTTY! I GO TO SCHOOL!!!" I smiled weakly as I hurried his hysterical, flailing body out of the preschool.
The wonderful director of the school stopped me in the hall before I could make my break for it and said, "Did you learn to go potty on the big potty?"
Mr Blue Eyes hushed his tantrum and looked her in the eye. He answered her by telling her again that, "I go potty now in the potty. I go to school."
She smiled and said, "You know we are so proud of you. That's really great you are such a big boy now. All of our classes are full right now with other kids that learned to go potty last year. But we are so proud of you that we are going to make a new class for you with new friends and new teachers. After the summer time is over, we will have your special class all ready for you. Will you come back in the fall and be a big boy at our school?"
He smiled and the fit was over. I looked at her not sure if I should cry, hug her in public, send her flowers later that day... she just smiled and gave me a wink. God Bless that woman!
For the last month we have been attempting to wean Mr Blue Eyes from wearing diapers at night. He had been waking up nearly every night dry. He took a little bit of convincing to ditch the security of his diaper at night. But when he did, he thought he was pretty darn cool. He made sure Thomas even knew he was a big boy now.
But the last couple weeks...
I am drowning in the potty training blues these days. I think my need for a chore chart really stemmed from the fact that my washing machine and I are going though the ringer these days trying to keep up with potty training Mr Blue Eyes at night. I am washing sheets 5-6 nights a week. The kid doesn't even wake up anymore when he has had an accident. I just find him sleeping in a puddle of urine. Sometimes still warm... sometimes not. Just snoring and sawing logs and dreaming of swimming.
I swear one of these mornings I am going to see a paddle lock on the washer door and sign hanging from it's knob that says "ON STRIKE!"
I used to make his bed. Like really make the bed.
Taking the time to evenly spread the sheet over the perfectly smoothed fitted sheet. Tucking the foot of the sheet under the mattress to secure it in place. Folding and tucking the corners just so, so that the sheet laid flat against the side rails and hung perfectly.
I took the same effort to spread the blanket and comforter on top. Meticulously tucking the heavy quilt between the mattress and the foot-board.
For the love of Pete, we layer the bed these days with black trash bags when the other waterproof liners are all in the washer!
It has honestly come to this!
He is lucky he gets a fitted top sheet some nights. Sometimes we just float another flat sheet over the top of the bed.
Layers of flat sheets and garbage bags.
Forget tucking anything in between the mattress or the foot-board.
I am lucky if the blankets are even all facing the same direction.
A freind of mine suggested that we use an alarm clock to wake him up early in the morning. When the alarm goes off he is supposed to get up use the potty and return to bed.
Handy Man was in charge of this task. The boys got the alarm all set up and he supposedly explained the deal to Mr Blue Eyes.
5:00 am Sunday morning after probably 10 minutes of radio music playing... Mr Blue Eyes was still... sleeping in a giant puddle of urine.
Again on Monday...
Again on Tuesday...
This morning I got up at 4:30 to go in and wake him up myself. He had already peed. Just a little. Not yet soaked into the sheets. Just wet underwear.
Another day, another load of laundry.
I can tell Mr Blue Eyes is getting frustrated. I am frustrated. We are all frustrated.
But my heart broke this morning.
Now, nearly every morning when my Brown Eyed Girl wakes up the first thing she asks her brother is, "Did you pee the bed?"
And every morning he has to to answer her, "Yes."
Most mornings he tells her with an up-beat and positive smile, "But I am going to try again tomorrow!" And they agree that he will try again tomorrow. And we try again tomorrow.
But this morning when she asked him, "Did you pee the bed?" and he answered her in a tear filled sob, "Yes. The clock is not working. I still peed the bed."
I can't watch his three-year-old little self get so upset because he is doing something while sleeping that he really can't control. He still doesn't fully understand that the alarm clock only wakes him up to go to the bathroom - not when he needs to go to the bathroom. He still thinks the clock is supposed to be saying, "Hey! You gatta pee soon - hurry to the potty."
Some friends say don't quit.
Some of the research says keep pushing forward.
The interwebs try to sell me very expensive moisture alarms and online potty training memberships to fancy websites with interactive potty charts and dancing stars.
Some tell me I should be setting my alarm and walking him to the potty every two hours each night - ummm wasn't that called breast feeding and bottles??? I am soooo over that thank you!
Some say that I should take a break and go back to pull ups.
I hate urine.
I hate potty training.
I am living on coffee and wine my friends and open for all of your reasonable suggestions. Because today...
