Self Worth

Working with youth, especially girls in that 14-19 year old range, can be challenging. I find myself wearing multiple hats on a daily basis. I serve as a big sister, sometimes a mother figure, teacher, mentor and beyond.

I am always an advocate.

I enjoy being called a friend.

I cherish the times we laugh together. I live for the days I can relate to little moments and milestones they are experiencing  - these are the days I forget about the gray hair, stretch marks and aching back.

I feel accomplished when I can guide them to great successes. One of the greatest rewards has been the ability to follow some of these young individuals through their college years and even watch their first baby steps into adulthood. (Thank you social networking!)

Some of my more challenging days are the days when I have to step in and act as the mother figure.

They have mothers, they like me better when I am their sister/friend.

However, I feel a large part of my job obligation in being involved with youth is to serve as a mentor. 

This generation of girls confuses and frustrates me.

Self worth
Self respect
Self image

There are so many young ladies in today's generation that really lack the true meaning to all three of those phrases.

It's really hard to pinpoint where the loss of translation originated. Regardless, I believe it needs changed. It's nothing new that the media plays a huge role in all three statements. Airbrushed models have been gracing the covers of popular magazines for years. This is nothing new.

I think fashion has taken a spin in the wrong direction. As a mother of a 2 year old girl, do you know how hard it is to find conservative shorts even for a toddler? This summer I was flabbergasted at the "short-short" designs for sale in the baby section. Hello! Do you know how bulky a diaper is?

I have had friends with older kids who have expressed what a nightmare shopping is for their tween/teen daughters. It's hard to find anything that doesn't show a lot of leg, a lot of chest and sometimes lacks in the in-between areas as well. Many schools are enforcing dress code policies in response to the scantily clothed young ladies that grace their halls on a daily basis. I applaud them.

I can relate. I have witnessed a few of my youth kids wearing shorts that leave little to the imagination - I would give anything to have legs like a few of those young girls in my lifetime; however, I would never have been caught dead outside of the house with the possibility that my butt cheeks might peek out from below.   

There are a few of the other "clueless" parents I know that buy whatever their kids want in the pitiful hopes of remaining "cool" in their child's eyes. I am sorry. I will never buy a twelve year old version of my Brown Eyed Girl a "bar maid" costume for Halloween. I don't care if every other kid in her school is going to be wearing the exact same costume. Brown Eyed Girl is wearing a gunny sack with a turtle neck and sweatpants.

End of story!

I think college is specifically hard for girls these days. Campus is huge. Acceptance is seems to be the most important thing. There is a lack of parental guidance. These girls are sort of just floundering around the first two years trying to identify themselves as individuals scholastically and socially. That's a lot of pressure. I actually think social media has placed even more pressure on these girls.

When I was in college, if I wore a hideous outfit to a party one night I didn't have to worry about it haunting me. Sure my roommate might have taken a photo of me, but I didn't have to worry about it being posted all over Facebook in the morning. My embarrassment lived in her scrap book, not the internet.

Who's idea was it that taking a picture of yourself in the mirror wearing a black lace bra and a sheer excuse for a tank top, angled perfectly at your cleavage, was the ideal profile picture? Especially when you are 13...

Since when does being comfortable wearing a teddy and hooker over-the-knee boots to a Halloween costume party really mean that you are just very comfortable with your body? The argument - "Well it's actually more fabric than what my bikini is made with."

True.

However, the photo of you in front of the swimming pool in your bikini expresses an implied message of "Yeah! It's summer. I am at the pool!" The photo of you in the teddy says, "I am under age, all sexed up and looking for attention!" - And not the good kind of attention you should be looking for.

Being comfortable in your body is huge!

Very few young girls are.

Very few grown women are.

To achieve comfort in your own skin, you have to dig a lot deeper. Comfort comes from having Self Worth, Self Image and Self Respect.

When you respect yourself to present yourself for what you are worth - you truly know yourSELF!