I Beg Your Pardon

 

As a mother, there are several things I have an issue with in this picture.

First off, after 11 years of knowing this man I still can't get him to use a bowl when he eats ice cream. He eats it right out of the carton. Sometimes, he even squirts chocolate syrup right in the carton, eats until he is content, replaces the lid and returns it to the freezer. 

For this reason, I always buy my own ice cream.

I always use a bowl. 

The biggest problem I have with this picture is the begging. It's a two part problem.

Part A

How can any person sit there and enjoy any type of food with a big, drooling, heavy breathing, dog muzzle two inches from your dish?

Handy Man is completely oblivious to it. He has allowed Boji to beg his whole life. So naturally, Boji tries to beg at my feet and I spend the majority of my meal disgusted while telling him over and over to "Go Lay Down!"

Boji loves ice cream nights.

Boji can be sound asleep in the other room, hear the freezer door open and close followed by the silverware drawer sliding open and assume the position even before Handy Man can retrieve a spoon from the drawer.

It's pathetic.

What is worse... all the while Handy Man is eating ice cream, right out of the carton, he periodically spits small chunks of ice cream from his mouth, into the air, to be caught by our big, drooling, heavy breathing, beggar of a dog.

Absolutely disgusting!

As if nothing could be worse than this...

Part B

Now, Handy Man has our children begging.

Two inches from the carton of ice cream.

In fact, our Brown Eyed Girl and Boji actually race each other to the living room to compete for prime real estate next to the ice cream. (Don't even get me started on the TV trey)

With each bite Handy Man distributes, jealousy ensues.

When it's our Brown Eyed Girl's turn for a bite, Boji steadily watches the spoon leave the carton, move in a direction other than his own, and stares her down as she opens her mouth like a little bird to take the bite. Boji focuses, praying and ready to spring into action should she drop even the smallest morsel.

If our Brown Eyed Girl is overlooked by Daddy, she starts encroaching on Boji's position. She pushes and elbows him out of the way, overtaking his spot in hopes of being the next to receive the coveted bite of ice cream.

Boji quickly peels back and assumes the now vacant position left over from our Brown Eyed Girl. 

This continues to play out over and over until Handy Man replaces the lid on the carton and returns the ice cream to the freezer for another night.

That Handy Man isn't all bad...

He has been teaching Mr Blue Eyes the value of lazy weekend afternoons.

Remote controls, and cat naps while sitting on the couch.