My sweet little Brown Eye Girls has been trying desperately to turn the corner from being a back-talking-too-big-for-her-britches-destined-to-live-in-time-out-for-the-rest-of-her-life little girl. We still have our moments and setbacks where it is everything I can do not to find the biggest switch I can and.... but for the most part I can see she is really, really trying.
Lately I can tell that she is trying to think of ways to please me. Searching for that little reassurance that in fact she does make me happy - she really does make me happy (most of the time.)
Every afternoon when I say, "It's time to get your shoes on so we can go home." I can see her start to form a bratty expression and I prepare for protesting words, fits, tears. But just as quickly, I see her smile, look up and say, "Okay Mommy!" (in her sweetest face and tone.) I can't help but think to myself, Yes, one less battle to fight tonight. Lately she always follows up with, "Mommy I was sweet and I didn't yell at you. I get to watch my movie in the car?!" And I can't help but glance at my sitter, embarrassed because I know she knows that my kids get to watch a movie every day in the car. It's no special treat. It's expected. And I wonder if she thinks my kids are spoiled - they are.
In reality, it's the only form of recourse I have in the evenings if I have to haul her out by her hair kicking and screaming when she doesn't want to go home. And it is hell, the whole ride home as she whales from the back seat like she's been forced to give up breathing for 20 minutes.
I find myself secretly nodding to her and by-passing the comment with another, "Let's go get those shoes on!"
But I think it's more than just craving my approval. Because I really do complement her often and remind her every day how much I love her and how happy she makes me. I think more than anything she is trying to understand her own independence and master it at the same time. She is proud to be getting bigger. Proud to take ownership of her accomplishments and her growth into a the world of being a big girl - even if that is just taking the initiative to dress herself in the morning without me asking.
At three, she is all girl and knows what matches and what doesn't. I actually trust her independent wardrobe choices more than I trust Handy Man to choose an outfit for her to wear in public. Matching mean nothing to Handy Man. Color coordinating is obsolete to the color blind man who has had only two fashion evolutions in 12 years - flannel over t-shirt and hooded sweatshirt over t-shirt.
This morning, my beautiful and sweet Brown Eyed Girl greeted me after waking with a kiss. She then announced with oozing pride that she had made her own bed this morning.
I smiled and confirmed, "You did? You made your own bed this morning?"
She beamed and said, "Yep! All by my self!"
I've never asked her to make her bed. Never really expected her to. It is something I just do every morning as I tidy up the house on our way out the door.
I made a point to immediately stop what I was doing and go check out her handy work.
Not too shabby.
She pulled the blanket and comforter up over her pillows.
Even attempted to smooth out the wrinkles.
We are not talking about landing on the moon here, but I was truly so proud of her this morning. I gave her a great big old hug and told her again how proud I was that she made her own bed. Commented on how big she was getting.
My little Brown Eyed Girl is getting so big, right before my eyes. Where did the time go. It's all happening so fast. My heart skips a beat and before I know it she'll be heading off to college.
All morning I have been wondering if it's time to start making a chore list for her. Give her things to do that will make her feel big, important and give her some pride in her own accomplishments. Nurture her independence and recognize her contributions to our family. No pressure for performance, just a list of things she can do to help. She is obviously searching for more.
I wonder if she's still too young to mow the lawn???
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