My Brown Eyed Girl's new Pre-K classroom uses the Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light behavior chart each day. A completely foreign system to this first-time-having-a-school-aged-child mom that I am. The nuts and bolts of program is that each child starts the day on Green. Green is when a student demonstrates appropriate behavior and follows the expectations of the classroom and school.
Then, based on the days behavior and how she handles herself in different situations she can either remain in Green or sink to Yellow or Red. Yellow is a warning level. It is when a student begins to forget to follow the expectations of the classroom and school or demonstrates and minor infraction.
Red on the other hand is when a student repeatedly demonstrates inappropriate behavior and repeatedly forgets to follow the expectations. It can also include when a student demonstrates a major infraction.
Major infractions... like lying, negative physical behavior, stealing...
The concept keeps the kids accountable for their actions and how they interact with their peers. A student can always work their way back to green if they make mistakes throughout the day. It is important for them to recognize their mistakes and change for the better.
The very first day that the teacher's implemented the program, our Brown Eyed Girl came home and was on yellow. First day?!?! We are off to a good start... Actually, all but three of the kids in her class ended up on yellow that first day.
My Brown Eyed Girl is very competitive.
She was not happy to be on yellow the first day. For the next week or two, she came home from school eager to tell us how good was and that she ended up each day on Green.
Well until THIS week.
Monday, I get a call from the sitter to ask me if the school had called me yet. Oh great! did she get hurt? I was informed that my Brown Eyed Girl ended up getting RED! RED?!? She got RED?
Apparently, she was in the bathroom and drank water out of the sink - thank you Handy Man - and then spit it at a classmate. When confronted, she seemed to suffer from temporary amnesia. So when she lied, automatic Red.
Handy Man and I spent that night explaining that we are to never spit at people. More importantly we talked about telling the truth. I told her that when she is not nice, she will still get in trouble. But when she lies about it, she gets in even more trouble. She said she would never spit again.
The next day, her teacher emailed and said that each day was a new day. Wednesday my Brown Eyed Girl would start the day fresh and on Green. She was excited about the news and smiled assuring me she would have a great day.
About 1:30 pm on Wednesday, I get a call from the Principal to inform me that my Brown Eyed Girl had been sent to the office. The little s&%$ kicked a boy on the playground and went strait to RED and was sent to the office. The Principal went over what had happened and talked with my Brown Eyed Girl on how to be a good friend.
After hanging up with the Principal, I had a lot if inner turmoil as a mom.
I felt angry. Why can't she just be sweet and nice and keep her hands to herself? I am going to kick her fanny.
I felt embarrassed. The teachers probably think she is a brat. She is the "one" they have to watch. The bad kid in class. I am the mom of the trouble maker in class.
And then I felt ashamed for feeling embarrassed. It's not about me. I need to not be embarrassed but focus on fixing the problem. She needs some consequences.
Wednesday was going to be her very first swimming lesson and she was so excited. The angry, iron-fist part of me was screaming, "She ain't go'en!" The weak, push-over part of me was muttering over and over, "We already paid for the lesson. It's her first one. She has been looking forward to this for so long. I do not want to make that call and cancel the very first lesson..."
I just didn't know what to do. I mean I knew what I should probably do but I just couldn't do it.
After picking her up from school and on the drive home we were discussing the event. I decided that with out a doubt she needed to lose out on something that truly meant a lot to her. I did not want anymore Red days. She really needed to feel the consequences. She needed to learn. I wanted to give her a choice and let her pick her punishment. Place the responsibility in her hands. Lord knows I didn't want to hear a 'you don't love me' from her.
I thought of the things that would leave the most impact on her. I gave her a choice. Miss your swimming lesson or lose all of your dress-up stuff until you can get back on Green.
When I presented her with her choice she cried. She cried real, torn tears. It was hard to bear. After some more talking, she made her choice to lose her beloved dress-up wardrobe until she could get back on Green. We got home and through more tears packed all of her dress-up clothes into a plastic bag and stored them in my closet.
As I watched her that night swimming at her very first lesson I was so happy. I was happy that I was able to handle the situation reasonable and as non-emotional as possible and let her have a part in choosing the punishment. I feel like there was less wining (if that is actually possible) and because she chose, she knew it was non negotiable.
On Friday, she was back on Green.
The very first day that the teacher's implemented the program, our Brown Eyed Girl came home and was on yellow. First day?!?! We are off to a good start... Actually, all but three of the kids in her class ended up on yellow that first day.
My Brown Eyed Girl is very competitive.
She was not happy to be on yellow the first day. For the next week or two, she came home from school eager to tell us how good was and that she ended up each day on Green.
Well until THIS week.
Monday, I get a call from the sitter to ask me if the school had called me yet. Oh great! did she get hurt? I was informed that my Brown Eyed Girl ended up getting RED! RED?!? She got RED?
Apparently, she was in the bathroom and drank water out of the sink - thank you Handy Man - and then spit it at a classmate. When confronted, she seemed to suffer from temporary amnesia. So when she lied, automatic Red.
Handy Man and I spent that night explaining that we are to never spit at people. More importantly we talked about telling the truth. I told her that when she is not nice, she will still get in trouble. But when she lies about it, she gets in even more trouble. She said she would never spit again.
The next day, her teacher emailed and said that each day was a new day. Wednesday my Brown Eyed Girl would start the day fresh and on Green. She was excited about the news and smiled assuring me she would have a great day.
About 1:30 pm on Wednesday, I get a call from the Principal to inform me that my Brown Eyed Girl had been sent to the office. The little s&%$ kicked a boy on the playground and went strait to RED and was sent to the office. The Principal went over what had happened and talked with my Brown Eyed Girl on how to be a good friend.
After hanging up with the Principal, I had a lot if inner turmoil as a mom.
I felt angry. Why can't she just be sweet and nice and keep her hands to herself? I am going to kick her fanny.
I felt embarrassed. The teachers probably think she is a brat. She is the "one" they have to watch. The bad kid in class. I am the mom of the trouble maker in class.
And then I felt ashamed for feeling embarrassed. It's not about me. I need to not be embarrassed but focus on fixing the problem. She needs some consequences.
Wednesday was going to be her very first swimming lesson and she was so excited. The angry, iron-fist part of me was screaming, "She ain't go'en!" The weak, push-over part of me was muttering over and over, "We already paid for the lesson. It's her first one. She has been looking forward to this for so long. I do not want to make that call and cancel the very first lesson..."
I just didn't know what to do. I mean I knew what I should probably do but I just couldn't do it.
After picking her up from school and on the drive home we were discussing the event. I decided that with out a doubt she needed to lose out on something that truly meant a lot to her. I did not want anymore Red days. She really needed to feel the consequences. She needed to learn. I wanted to give her a choice and let her pick her punishment. Place the responsibility in her hands. Lord knows I didn't want to hear a 'you don't love me' from her.
I thought of the things that would leave the most impact on her. I gave her a choice. Miss your swimming lesson or lose all of your dress-up stuff until you can get back on Green.
When I presented her with her choice she cried. She cried real, torn tears. It was hard to bear. After some more talking, she made her choice to lose her beloved dress-up wardrobe until she could get back on Green. We got home and through more tears packed all of her dress-up clothes into a plastic bag and stored them in my closet.
As I watched her that night swimming at her very first lesson I was so happy. I was happy that I was able to handle the situation reasonable and as non-emotional as possible and let her have a part in choosing the punishment. I feel like there was less wining (if that is actually possible) and because she chose, she knew it was non negotiable.
On Friday, she was back on Green.
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