She flinched when I kissed her.
I apologized for kissing her too hard. Too much pressure against her slightly puffy little cheek. She looked up at me with a wrinkled brow and asked me, "Mommy, why is this happening to me? Why is my face hurting?"
My heart broke a little more and I moved my evening kiss to her forehead. "I don't know honey. I just don't know. But I am hoping the doctors are going to figure it out soon... and the medicines will help soon... and you'll be all better."
"But why Mommy? Why do I have to take all this medicine and why do I have to hurt? I hate this!"
I hate this too...
I sat down with my six year old, brown eyed daughter and tried to explain what was happening to her - without really explaining what was happening to her. Without really sharing our fears with her. Without really telling her that this was most likely just the beginning of something - more.
I leaned very close to her and we pillow talked last night - about bugs.
At six, my daughter doesn't understand a lot of the really big words. Words like infections, antibiotics, inflammation. She hears us use them. She can use them. But she really doesn't know what they mean in relation to her. These words (and other scary words) float freely around her little self and our family, it seems like every day. They are synonymous with frustration.
So we talked about bugs.
My Brown Eyed Girl and Mr Blue Eyes know all about Sugar Bugs. Tiny bugs you can't even see that eat your teeth and give you cavities if you don't brush your teeth every day. Cavities, plaque and tarter buildup make no sense to my kids. They get Sugar Bugs. They brush their teeth in order to get rid of the Sugar Bugs.
Quick on my feat, last night we learned about the other kinds of bugs that we can get or have. Tummy Bug make us sick to our tummies. Cold Bugs make us cough and our throat hurt. Inside our bodies we also have good bugs that help protect our bodies. Those bugs are called Police Bugs.
WI explained that when we catch a Tummy Bug or Cold Bug, they start making us feel really crummy. We ache all over, we get a fever and we feel sick. In rushes the Police Bugs! The brave bugs in our bodies that help fight off the bad bugs like Tummy Bugs and Cold Bugs. It takes a little while for them to find all of the bad bugs inside, sometimes a couple days. But once the Police Bugs get rid of all of those Tummy Bugs and Cold Bugs we start feeling much, much better.
My Brown Eyed Girl has some kind of Bug in her jaw. We don't know quite what it is right now. We hope it's just some kind of an Infection Bug. I told her that her doctors were working really hard to figure out what kind of Bug she has. Her Police Bugs are having a hard time getting rid of this crazy Bug and so the doctors want her to take some medicine to help.
She smiled and said to me, "Mom, it's not just medicine then. The doctor is giving me Medicine Bugs. Those Medicine Bugs are going to help my Police Bugs fight these Crazy Bugs in my cheek."
I smiled and told her she was very, very smart. Yes! We are hoping these Medicine Bugs can team up with her Police Bugs and fight off this Crazy Bug that's making her jaw so painful.
I reminded her that she was getting a different kind of Medicine Bugs right now than she did a month ago when all this mess started. I told her that those were evidently the wrong kinds of Medicine Bugs the last time and that we are really hoping the doctor is sending in the right kind of bugs now. It's very important for her to tell us how she feels because we may need to try even a different kind of Medicine Bug still. Either way, we are going to keep trying to help her Police Bugs until she is all better, smiling every day and she doesn't feel any more pain.
I asked her if she understood now. She nodded her little head yes. She smiled big and her brown eyes twinkled in the twilight. She only had one last remark she wanted to make sure we were clear on...
"Mommy can you tell the doctor that I am glad those last Medicine Bugs don't work? Because they tasted so yucky. Like the most yucky thing I have ever tasted. These Medicine Bugs now are... okay. But He really needs to work with Medicine Bugs that taste better."
You got it my sweet Brown Eyed Girl. I will make the call tomorrow.
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