I started to catch more news snippets about a virus plaguing folks in China. I somewhat disregarded the news updates from half a world away. Let's be honest, seeing Chinese civilians wearing surgical masks in public is nothing new. It's no secret that the air quality there is horrible. Then, I started to see a few social media posts about people hording loads of toilet paper and I laughed. What on earth did toilet paper have to do with some people getting sick in China?
Handy Man and I have a routine. We make our typical "grocery list" throughout the week and every Saturday morning we (I) head to our local Walmart and buy enough groceries for our week. We aren't Costco or bulk shoppers, never have been. Sure, we always have a few staples or last minute back up dinners on hand, but for the most part, we live week-by-week when it comes to grocery shopping for our family.
It's funny to think that it's only been 15 days since I created my last typical and traditional grocery list.
In the last 10 days, I have been to at least one grocery store every day... if not every-other-day.
13 days ago, standing outside the kids' school with a few parent friends, I rolled my eyes listing to them suggest adding 1-2 extra boxes of spaghetti noodles the next time I was at the store. Maybe picking up a few extra pounds of ground beef to freeze. Conspiracy theories and politics. My two least favorite topics to discuss in public.
Within 48 hours my social media feeds were flooded with stories of toilet paper, paper towel, cleaning supplies and hand soap shortages. Handy Man called me on my way home that evening from an appointment and said he was almost out of hand soap for his employees and could no longer order it online. He couldn't find it on Amazon for a reasonable price and he stopped by two stores on his lunch break and the shelves were empty. Are you kidding me? He asked me to swing by the store on my way home and buy anything I could find. Are you kidding me?
So I did.
I walked to the back of the store, rounded the corner...
and I saw with my own two eyes empty shelves. No toilet paper. No paper towels. No Clorox wipes. No bleach. Are you kidding me?
I turned another corner and no hand soap.
Another...
Wait? No bread? Are you kidding me?
I called Handy Man exasperated. We exchanged comments of disbelief and I agreed to try again tomorrow after my morning appointment.
That night, the emails started.
Mr Blue Eye's hockey tournament he was working so hard for, cancelled.
The next morning, school would be participating in a two week distance learning "opportunity" beginning March 23rd to April 3rd. Home schooling... Are you kidding me?
Our Spring Break stay-cation at Great Wolf Lodge, canceled.
On Friday the 13th, 9 days ago, Handy Man and I agreed that after my appointment I had better do our "weekly" shopping and not wait until the Saturday morning madness that was sure to come. I went to 4 different stores to find enough staple items to feed my family for two weeks, utilizing the meat products we already had in our freezer at home. Everything was scarce. I could not believe what I was seeing. No canned goods. No pasta noodles. No flour. No meat. No rice. No potatoes.
It was like nothing I had ever seen before. I kept waiting for Ashton Kutcher and a film crew with carts full of food to come strolling through the supermarket shouting, "You Just Got Punked!"
I told Handy Man that night about my experience and we agreed to just keep working at finding the items I was unable to buy - like macaroni and cheese! Good lord how am I supposed to survive home schooling while working from home with out Mac n Cheese!
Every day I take my unfulfilled list in order to try again.
We watch the daily updates from our President. God Bless him right now.
I watch as the economy unravels, the number of cases increases and I listen to the fear and uncertainty in the conversations with my friends, family, colleagues and clients.
Then I take a deep breath and I go over my growing unfulfilled list and I try again.
I have been on the hunt for eggs, sliced bread and ground beef for the last 5 days.
During our nightly conversations of the world's state, I confessed to him that I was glad the kids had been staying with family for the last few days, while all this craziness had been unfolding. I confessed that as a mother, part of me wants to shelter them from seeing the empty shelves and bleakness of the store they have been raised in. But another part of me wanted to show them... show them just how quickly life can change. Handy Man said we should show them. We should show them what is happening in this world because it is happening to everyone. It is unlike our generation has ever experienced and surely not theirs. It is absolutely a life lesson.
So yesterday, I took them to their store.
We had a deep conversation over breakfast and I shared with them my plan. I told them what they would see, so they would not be too shocked - I am not sure if they really believed me. We carried our unfulfilled list to the car and I gave them instructions as I drove. I told them to keep their hands in their pockets, stay by me, and they knew we would be utilizing hand sanitizer before we got back into our car. Together we walked into their store in search of eggs, sliced bread and ground beef.
They were quiet.
Still no meat.
But we did find a loaf of sliced bread!
No mac n cheese....
No paper products.
After a bit, I asked the kids what they thought. My Brown Eyed Girl said, "Well... I think it's disturbing." I told her I agreed with her and told her that was a good word.
Mr Blue Eyes didn't have much to say.
We did get an extra ream of paper and a pencil sharpener for next week's impending home schooling. We had a few small victories. Egg whites, sliced bread, and the LAST box of chicken Rice-a-Roni!
They could not believe people had bought up all the toilet paper. That humored them.
They asked for Grandma's cheesy bread with dinner and I scooped up an Italian baguette from the bakery and some mozzarella cheese.
As I was unloading our items on the checkout conveyor, the woman at the register stopped me in my tracks, "I am sorry Mam but you can't buy two bread products."
"I am sorry? I can't what?"
"You can't buy two loafs of bread. You have to choose one. You are not allowed to buy two."
I looked down at a pair of brown and blue eyes staring back at me. I became spatially aware that the gentleman in line behind me was watching and I cannot even begin to explain the feelings that washed over me.
It was part outrage. Part fear. Part shock. Confusion. A little bit of anxiety and panic.
Embarrassment - similar to what one might experience if their credit card was denied or they didn't have enough cash to pay for the items in their cart... only thing is I have enough money but I am being told I cannot buy something. I can not buy two loafs of bread.
And there I was, holding up the line, faced with staring at two very different loafs of bread and choosing. Do we want garlic cheese bread with dinner? Or, do we need this loaf of sliced bread I have been looking for for the last 5 days? I started rationalizing in my head if we could make the 1/2 a loaf we still had stretch a few more days...
The kids were equally considering the choice at hand and Mr Blue Eyes said, "Mommy, I would rather have the cheesy bread. We can make pizza for lunches if we need to." I was speechless.
We bought the Italian loaf.
I pushed the cart outside in silence. My Brown Eyed Girl spoke up, "Don't worry mom, let's go try Safeway for bread. We might get lucky and find eggs and meet there too!"
I smiled at their optimism.
Secretly wanted to cry inside.
I dispersed hand sanitizer all around and we drove to the other store.
The kids spotted bread and my Brown Eyed Girl took control, "Mom, you guys go find the eggs. I will get the bread and meet you there."
I smiled and winked at her.
Together, we rallied and found eggs, ground beef, and sliced bread. I happily threw away my unfulfilled list and we headed home.
These are crazy times were are living in and they seem to change every single day. History unfolding. I imagine it will get worse before it gets better. I do know one thing. I will never forget that feeling yesterday at the store. I know we as Americans are privileged. While I understand this is uncharted territory and the result of a pandemic, the unfortunate results of people hoarding items out of fear. I will continue to work hard and vote however I must from this day forward to preserve my freedoms and liberties and those of my children so that they never have to choose between two loafs of bread.
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