Aspara-goose

It's been a week since we left our Midwestern Vacation and I am having withdrawals.

I came across some more photos from our visit to Grandpop and Grandma Joan's and had to share - I promise after this post I will accept that I am indeed home and face the reality of working and burning the candle at both ends.

Grandpop is a forager, a modern day hunter and gatherer. The ultimate outdoors-man. Handy Man daydreams about being Grandpop. Hunting and gathering (maybe not the gathering part) but definitely the fishing - and golfing - part. I know, golfing has nothing to do with providing food for your family. But he dreams about it, is envious. Someday he would like to own his own guided hunting ranch - that has a back nine. 

My gatherer father took me hunting for asparagus while we were in Iowa. 

How does one "hunt" for asparagus you might ask. 

No, it does not involve scouring the produce section of your local grocery store. 

Asparagus grow WILD in the ditches in Iowa - I am sure they also grow in other states in the Midwest. But for now, Iowa is the only state that is amazing to this fact. 

Learning to spot asparagus in the ditch is a challenge. A learned expertise. Initially, I felt asparagus hunting was a lot like pheasant hunting in the winters. I always volunteer to sit in the middle of the pickup's bench seat - okay it would be a little weird if Handy Man sat in the middle next to Grandpop - and I typically leave the spotting up to Grandpop and Handy Man. I want the guys to spot the pheasants. Once they do, let me out of the truck and I will take it from there. I lack the patience and concentration to stare into the ditches for hours. If a bird just happens to walk out in front of us to cross the road, I got those covered. 

Thank goodness asparagus (unless tampered with) are pretty easy to spot from the road. Well, in a way they are. You look for these large bushy plants (that resemble fern or dill plants) that grow and stand out in the ditches.

Here is a picture I snagged off Wikipedia

As the asparagus plant matures, the spear tips branch out and they get bushy looking. This is the key to spotting areas where the asparagus might be growing.

Hunting asparagus in the ditches is competitive - who knew, right? Well, apparently if you find a little sweet spot, you want to keep it your little sweet spot. So some gatherers will mentally note the spot and then break over the shoots that have matured. This way the good spots are harder to locate from the road by the average eye. 

Sneaky. Sneaky. Sneaky.

Once you train your eye to find the bushes from the road, you have to go gather. We would park our truck off the side of the road and literally walk the ditches with a plastic bag in hand.

At first as cars were passing by on the two lane highway, I couldn't help but feel like the only thing I was missing was an orange vest that said, "Department of Corrections." I mean, who the heck just gets out and walks along the side of a country highway like this?

Not to mention before our first gathering adventure Grandma Joan let something slip out about tics...

I can confidently say it takes quite a bit to make me squeamish. I have assisted in surgeries on horses. I have  helped hold a vein closed with my two fingers until a vet came to stitch up a horse. I am not bothered by snakes, lizards or spiders. However, I don't know what it is but...

I DO NOT DO TICS!

As Grandma Joan started talking about the possibility of picking up tics in the ditches and somewhere around the time Grandpop chimed in about showering after and checking warm crevices between your toes and your armpits, I momentarily went deaf while my heart rate escalated. Subconsciously, I started itching my scalp. I believe a panic attack was coming on. 

It was almost a deal breaker. The hunting and gathering adventure almost didn't happen. 

While I was being mistaken for a felon, I was practicing calming breathing techniques. Every blade of grass that brushed against my legs required a quick glance, a small piece of reassurance. I was walking the ditch in capri's and flip flops. Basically an open invitation.

Every time we ventured back to the truck, I compulsively did a fifty once over for anything foreign. 

Thank goodness I never saw a tic the whole time. It may have been the end of any future adventures. Definitely a deal breaker for me.

The hardest part about hunting for asparagus is learning to spot the shoots in the grass.

They can be a little tricky to spot. 

Not to mention the fact that you have to use your hands to part the grass and god forbid accidentally touch a tic hiding in there. 

Once you get the hang of it, your hunting efforts start to pay off.

Some of the asparagus were HUGE!

It's not uncommon for the shoots to be an inch or more in diameter. Ginormous! Bigger than any store bought asparagus I have ever seen and still tender and delicious.

Once you get home, the asparagus need washed and trimmed. 

Grandpop has this technique for testing the shoots with a sharp knife, searching for the sweet spot where the shoot is the tender. He trims off any potentially woody stems.

And there you have it!

I brought home a LOT of asparagus from our trip. I have enjoyed sharing some with friends and strategically fitting a serving into every dinner since we have been home. A little olive oil, salt and pepper on the grill - yummy!