Sometimes there is a bigger plan out there what takes the reins.
Christmas day, the kids and I piled into the car and headed east for one last road trip of 2013. Iowa bound in December. My Grandma Alice had finally decided to spend this Christmas with my Grandpa - in heaven. She passed the Saturday before Christmas.
Bitter sweet timing. Death is really amazing if you think about it. It is inevitable regardless. There is always an element of sadness. It can be tragic. It can also be a blessing. Death is feared. Death is also welcomed. It is accompanied by grief... and also relief.
Death removes a relationship forever.
Juxtaposed, it brings people together.
The kids got to meet their new cousin.
The service was beautiful. I do believe Grandma Alice would have given it her stamp of approval.
This is kind of long but the tribute written and read by my dad, Mitch, at my Grandma's funeral..
Alice’s funeral 12-27-13
Mother Alice, that’s what dad called her. But she was much more than that, she was a leader, a pillar of strength, an example of what it meant to believe in God. She was a teacher, a loving wife and a mother.
As an only child she raised 7 children, never understanding how they could fight so much. Though dad tried to tell her it was normal, she never did understand.
Mom was there for all the highs and lows through our lives. She held us when we were sick or sad, she was there for every football, softball or basketball game. She took us to the emergency rooms for broken legs, cuts and all the other childhood ailments. She saw us wreck our cars and answered the door to the occasional “man in uniform”.
She loved and held every grandchild and great-grandchild. She loved her grandchildren from blended families all the same!
She watched her daughter bury her son and she buried the love of her life.
Through it all she never lost her strength, her sense of humor or her love of life.
She loved her sons and tolerated her “perfect” daughters through it all.
Joan asked her once how she managed to keep her sanity. She told her “they took a lot of drives in the country.” Anyone who knew mom or met her even for a short time knew a person who was quick to laugh even at herself.
The garage door story goes like this. The first time dad told me this story was on a thanksgiving day. We arrived early to mom in her glory. In the kitchen cooking a feast for her family, she was dressed in her best as always with her apron covering against spills. The house was filled with those wonderful smells that are etched in our memories, a big smile and hello then back to work.
Dad was in the front room with the TV on, sitting on the couch waiting like a school boy with a new secret. "Come on in Mitch I have to tell you about my week",he said. A strange greeting coming from dad, but when I heard "FRANCIS" coming from the kitchen I knew this was going to be good.
As I sat down, dad folds his arms in his story telling position and begins. It seems mom had returned from work the other day. She was dressed in her professional attire, make up, hair done perfect, large colorful earrings, an outfit worthy of Wallstreet.
Mom had pulled the Durango into the garage and begun to collect her many things from the front passenger seat. As she leaned across, the garage door opener she had just used fell between the seat and the counsel. The pressure on the button was just right and down went the garage door! "That damn Francis thinks he so funny" as she figured he was in the kitchen with the other remote making his little joke. A joke she really had no patience for.
She waited, she searched for the remote which she could not find. "He knows I'm out here, he'll come check" she waited some more. She called the house from her cell phone, no answer. Searched the vehicle again, called the house again still no answer.
Now you may think, just go out the side door. Well a side door with a perfectly good door opener to dad was just wasted space. Space that was better used to store junk, lots of junk, junk that has been woven into an impenetrable wall of ladders, shovels, rakes and broom handles with paint brushes taped to them for those hard to reach areas. One look at the option of moving all that, well another phone call. "Pick up the damn phone Francis".
By this time the anger was all consuming and mom began to dig herself free from her entrapment. Now dad was on the couch watching TV in his usual manner. He was laid back, eyes closed, maybe one eye open every once in a while to catch up. About that time he hears the back door bang open, then loud steps and another bang as the top door flies open. Both dad’s eyes were open now.
The woman dad loves comes into the room in full battle readiness. He sees her hair is messed up, her clothes are in disarray , the heat coming off her has melted the earrings as they sagged down her neck. She lit into him like a goose protecting her nest. "What the hell are you doing? Why didn't you answer the phone? Why can't you clean the garage? That damn garage door doesn't work." One salvo after another was launched at this man who had just awaken from a relaxing nap.
Dads eyes got as big as saucers and those wrinkles formed on his head as he tried to stifle the grin from the spectacle before him.
"Didn't you hear the phone ring?"....."I thought it was on TV." Mom began her tale and the more she said the harder it was for dad to contain himself and his laughter took over. This did not help much.
Now as dad is telling this story he is absolutely beside himself. The tears are rolling down his face and he is making these little squeaky noises as he tries to get the words out through his laughter. I could barely understand him as the humor of it has overcome him. About this time mom comes out of the kitchen, wooden spoon in hand, ready to defend herself, a fairly displeased look on her face. One look at dad and her stern look changed to laughter and she turned and said "Well I'm glad I can entertain you".
It was times like this that mom and dad showed us what is was to love someone. Dad finding humor in mom’s ordeal was not about her but about life itself. And though mom had gotten mad she was able to laugh about it because she knew it wasn't personal. I think after the story was told to each new arriver she did say she had heard it enough for one day.
Mom and dad showed us all what it meant to love someone. That you need to laugh at life and take it as it comes. They were always there to support one another through it all. So we were all happy that last Saturday dad finally said, “Come on mother Alice, lets dance."
Alice’s funeral 12-27-13
Mother Alice, that’s what dad called her. But she was much more than that, she was a leader, a pillar of strength, an example of what it meant to believe in God. She was a teacher, a loving wife and a mother.
As an only child she raised 7 children, never understanding how they could fight so much. Though dad tried to tell her it was normal, she never did understand.
Mom was there for all the highs and lows through our lives. She held us when we were sick or sad, she was there for every football, softball or basketball game. She took us to the emergency rooms for broken legs, cuts and all the other childhood ailments. She saw us wreck our cars and answered the door to the occasional “man in uniform”.
She loved and held every grandchild and great-grandchild. She loved her grandchildren from blended families all the same!
She watched her daughter bury her son and she buried the love of her life.
Through it all she never lost her strength, her sense of humor or her love of life.
She loved her sons and tolerated her “perfect” daughters through it all.
Joan asked her once how she managed to keep her sanity. She told her “they took a lot of drives in the country.” Anyone who knew mom or met her even for a short time knew a person who was quick to laugh even at herself.
The garage door story goes like this. The first time dad told me this story was on a thanksgiving day. We arrived early to mom in her glory. In the kitchen cooking a feast for her family, she was dressed in her best as always with her apron covering against spills. The house was filled with those wonderful smells that are etched in our memories, a big smile and hello then back to work.
Dad was in the front room with the TV on, sitting on the couch waiting like a school boy with a new secret. "Come on in Mitch I have to tell you about my week",he said. A strange greeting coming from dad, but when I heard "FRANCIS" coming from the kitchen I knew this was going to be good.
As I sat down, dad folds his arms in his story telling position and begins. It seems mom had returned from work the other day. She was dressed in her professional attire, make up, hair done perfect, large colorful earrings, an outfit worthy of Wallstreet.
Mom had pulled the Durango into the garage and begun to collect her many things from the front passenger seat. As she leaned across, the garage door opener she had just used fell between the seat and the counsel. The pressure on the button was just right and down went the garage door! "That damn Francis thinks he so funny" as she figured he was in the kitchen with the other remote making his little joke. A joke she really had no patience for.
She waited, she searched for the remote which she could not find. "He knows I'm out here, he'll come check" she waited some more. She called the house from her cell phone, no answer. Searched the vehicle again, called the house again still no answer.
Now you may think, just go out the side door. Well a side door with a perfectly good door opener to dad was just wasted space. Space that was better used to store junk, lots of junk, junk that has been woven into an impenetrable wall of ladders, shovels, rakes and broom handles with paint brushes taped to them for those hard to reach areas. One look at the option of moving all that, well another phone call. "Pick up the damn phone Francis".
By this time the anger was all consuming and mom began to dig herself free from her entrapment. Now dad was on the couch watching TV in his usual manner. He was laid back, eyes closed, maybe one eye open every once in a while to catch up. About that time he hears the back door bang open, then loud steps and another bang as the top door flies open. Both dad’s eyes were open now.
The woman dad loves comes into the room in full battle readiness. He sees her hair is messed up, her clothes are in disarray , the heat coming off her has melted the earrings as they sagged down her neck. She lit into him like a goose protecting her nest. "What the hell are you doing? Why didn't you answer the phone? Why can't you clean the garage? That damn garage door doesn't work." One salvo after another was launched at this man who had just awaken from a relaxing nap.
Dads eyes got as big as saucers and those wrinkles formed on his head as he tried to stifle the grin from the spectacle before him.
"Didn't you hear the phone ring?"....."I thought it was on TV." Mom began her tale and the more she said the harder it was for dad to contain himself and his laughter took over. This did not help much.
Now as dad is telling this story he is absolutely beside himself. The tears are rolling down his face and he is making these little squeaky noises as he tries to get the words out through his laughter. I could barely understand him as the humor of it has overcome him. About this time mom comes out of the kitchen, wooden spoon in hand, ready to defend herself, a fairly displeased look on her face. One look at dad and her stern look changed to laughter and she turned and said "Well I'm glad I can entertain you".
It was times like this that mom and dad showed us what is was to love someone. Dad finding humor in mom’s ordeal was not about her but about life itself. And though mom had gotten mad she was able to laugh about it because she knew it wasn't personal. I think after the story was told to each new arriver she did say she had heard it enough for one day.
Mom and dad showed us all what it meant to love someone. That you need to laugh at life and take it as it comes. They were always there to support one another through it all. So we were all happy that last Saturday dad finally said, “Come on mother Alice, lets dance."
Iowa in December, well it wasn't all that cold after all.
Another beautiful reason to celebrate family before the year was over. One more opportunity to hug and laugh and smile.
And make angels for all of our angels watching over us.
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